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- I'm turning in to my dad. I just pulled my own finger. @tempeimprov May 31 - June 2. http://url.cn/GywDfZ[Translate]23 May. 23:51 impressions(24k) Reposts and Replies(12)
- What a better planet this would be if our mom's were in charge. We'd all be safe, well fed and loved. Happy Mother's Day.[Translate]13 May. 00:38 impressions(24k) Reposts and Replies(99)
- Need a big game from 93, 55, 40 and 13 tonight at the Joe. @底特律红翼队[Translate]7 May. 08:38 impressions(3280) Reposts and Replies(8)
- This guy's voice sounds familiar as the voice of Kellogg's Raisin Bran in this TV spot - http://url.cn/I4KskT[Translate]5 May. 21:39 impressions(3770) Reposts and Replies(1)
- Nudity is better than oldity.[Translate]30 Apr. 00:45 impressions(8696) Reposts and Replies(9)
- Tonight thru April 27 @kirklandlaughs where I'll be giving my spin on Full House. TIX: http://url.cn/COKEGh[Translate]25 Apr. 21:40 impressions(9447) Reposts and Replies(9)
- Thank you audiences @cinemadraft and The Spectrum Theatre @Artisphere here in Arlington, VA. A superblast of laughs.[Translate]21 Apr. 12:07 impressions(9724) Reposts and Replies(8)
- My view this morning, recording my first Kellogg's Raisin Bran TV spot.[Translate]17 Apr. 02:13 impressions(12k) Reposts and Replies(18)
- Going to be some turbulence coming up here over Texas. Yeehaaaa!!![Translate]11 Apr. 00:14 impressions(17k) Reposts and Replies(31)
- Growing up with four siblings, we thought Game Of Thrones was who got to use the bathroom first.[Translate]30 Mar. 23:50 impressions(11k) Reposts and Replies(3)
- I think all people deserve the right to feel the misery most married couples feel.[Translate]28 Mar. 23:32 impressions(8068) Reposts and Replies(5)
- Don't know why I got up this early. I just saw a bird looking for a worm with a flashlight.[Translate]27 Mar. 19:36 impressions(8007) Reposts and Replies(2)
- Mimosa and a hockey game on the tube. And sold out shows tonight. Thank you, Vancouver![Translate]24 Mar. 04:37 impressions(19k) Reposts and Replies(59)
- Vancouver - the Canucks are on the road this weekend, so I guess you're coming to my shows @LafflinesComedy ... http://url.cn/BK1IWn[Translate]20 Mar. 03:52 impressions(11k) Reposts and Replies(6)
- I've eaten way too much corned beef and cabbage and am now celebrating St. Fatty's Day.[Translate]18 Mar. 09:18 impressions(9081) Reposts and Replies(3)