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Merrilville, Detroit, Duluth, Green Bay, Akron & Reading this Summer. All tour dates here. http://url.cn/HxuMLe[Translate]

"FIRST!" - What John Hancock was thinking when he signed the Declaration of Independence.[Translate]

Since you may have been watching game 6 of NBA Finals, here is my @TheDailyShow appearance w/ the great @IamJohnOliver http://url.cn/FSvqV4[Translate]

SEATTLE & EUGENE – What are the best outdoorsy places to stay with young kids in your area?[Translate]

How many dozens of times do you have to watch TZ in a row before it becomes pathetic? #OhThatClipAgain[Translate]

Tonight I'll be on the @DailyShow with the great @iamjohnoliver. 11E/10C @comedycentral Tune in or act like you saw it next time you see me.[Translate]

I think I pulled a back muscle eating a bratwurst yesterday. That can happen, right?[Translate]

I can't wait until Taco Bell starts selling vending machines.[Translate]

When I was I dating my future wife I once found myself comparing her to a bratwurst. It was then that I realized I was serious about her.[Translate]

In case u missed me on @cbssundaymorning http://url.cn/GaHMzQ thanks @anthonymason[Translate]

When is ZZTop going to sue those Duck Dynasty guys?[Translate]

Father's Day, the culinary dry run for 4th of July.[Translate]

Just a reminder that I will be on @CBSSundayMorning with the great @anthonymason today. Check local listings. Happy Father’s Day.[Translate]

Oh good, you want to wake up and bang on the piano at 6am on Sunday. Happy Father's Day.[Translate]

The real question is should we trust people who don’t like cheese?[Translate]