Tencent Weibo

What's the name of that app that adds googley eyes to pictures of your penis or am I inventing that right now?[Translate]

Hey France, "Madonna's show was too short" is "Classy Problems." in Juarez last year a dude got his face sewn onto a soccer ball.[Translate]

I'm working on having images projected onto my leotard for my Olympic mime. Anybody in London have a projector I can borrow?[Translate]

Just found out I'm doing 9 minutes of pantomime at the London Opening Ceremony. #leotardshopping[Translate]

Apparently Slipknot's greatest hits is coming out next week. Also: Slipknot has greatest hits.[Translate]

Sleep tight! And don't worry about the fact that the room you grew up in was 85% asbestos.[Translate]

Looks like the Russian dude from the Sopranos eluded me this 4th of July. JUST LIKE HE DID ON THE SHOW. #wtfhappenedtotherussianguy[Translate]

Sleep tight! And don't worry that a bunch of elves who make shoes OUT OF PEOPLE will descend on you while you slumber.[Translate]

Out of all of you, only @anthonyamor got off his ass and got me a piece of Morrissey's shirt from Zepp Sendai, Japan w/ @craigwedren[Translate]

Finally. The new Spider-Man nail polish set is out.[Translate]

As I fall asleep, I picture myself explaining the Liz & Dick comments section on Deadline Hollywood to our Hunter/Gatherer Ancestors.[Translate]

Every year. I only want one thing for Father's Day: World Peace. And one of those expensive new hydrogen-powered motorcycles.[Translate]

Sleep tight! Every tortoise you've ever met will be alive long after your death. :)[Translate]

Sleep tight! And don't even wonder if you should check your vacuum cleaner bag for something you will miss one day.[Translate]

West Hollywood Target is the Arkham Asylum of Los Angeles.[Translate]