騰訊微博

Two large NYPD cops just said I was "looking good". So I think I'm going to take their word it. #BeenEatingResponsibly[译]

Looks like "hold him, now" trumps anything I'm doing.[译]

Does it make me a bad father if I'm seriously considering duct taping a pacifier to my baby?[译]

What do these 3 handsome Hawkeye legends have in common? They want to save Olympic Wrestling! #IOC#FILA #CPOW @WrestlingVision[译]

If you think that your life is going by too fast get a baby and become a human baby swing. #WatchingTheDamnClock[译]

Angelina Jolie is heroic today because she forced us men to think about and even talk about something very uncomfortable. Our wives health.[译]

Grandpa, @AshleyLynArnold & Jax. Happy Mothers Day baby. . I love you guys.[译]

If a new mom says "Let's take the baby down to the beach and walk around". Just say "Anything you want". She will be asleep in 15 minutes.[译]

Happy Mothers Day Weekend up in here. Up in here.[译]

Other Old Dads: It's a bad sign if you spend more time lying down than your 5 week old.[译]

When I was 15 I dreamed about having this really cool realistic space ship simulator I saw on TV. Jax's baby swing is exactly like it.[译]

This year Mothers Day is getting REAL.[译]

My employees are like family which explains why one of them just took a dump in my bathroom and forgot to flush.[译]

Soul Plane 2: Me and Charles Ramsey are in. What about you @SnoopDogg @kevinhart4real?[译]

When my baby gets pissed he looks just like @PattonOswalt Adorable![译]